Baby = Official

Womens intuition doesn't lie apparently.

I just came from the doctor, and just got off the phone with the new daddy to be.

We're officially pregnant. And thats as much information as I've got right now.

I'm skipping work tomorrow to have an ultrasound and find out how far along we are, but I don't think it can be more than about six weeks...surely not longer than two months anyway.

I'm scared out of my fucking mind. Terrified. And amazed. And so unbelievably confused.

Daddy to be is estatic. I'm scared everything is going to change. He just got more motivated to make money and provide. He says his mother in Ghana will be thrilled. Mine might be too. Maybe.

Fuck.

I'm swinging wildly from crying and lamenting that I might never run amock overseas by myself again, and thinking "well, I did that. This is a new chapter". And this man I have. This man. They say you shouldn't have a baby with someone if you wouldn't want your son to turn out just like him. My son could rule the world if he turned out just like his daddy. I'm not worried about him at all. He'll be an amazing father.

I'm worried about me. I don't cook as often as I should. I don't wash up for days. I'm lazy. I have a short temper. I don't know if I'll be any good at this.

And I have no idea where to start.
Totally overwhelmed.

I'm going to go call my mum :S

I think I might be having a baby

Yep. You heard it here first.
Before friends, family, baby daddy.

This is unconfirmed info. But I know.

I'm late, I'm queasey. I just know. Intuition or something maybe.

So I'm oddly calm maybe because i haven't told anyone so I dont have to actually make any plans yet. I'm sure I'll start freaking out soon.

But really, as petrified as I am, the decision is a no brainer. We're together as a couple, we have a stable place to live (although I had kind of hoped to have a backyard by the time I had a baby), we both have jobs, and while our saving are pretty miniscule right now, we have a few months to save up. I also have a hugely supportive family who will help me out as much as I need. I've got it luckier than lots of expectant mothers. I've even got a few girlfriends who already have kids...some of them have two now! There will be no shortage of advice from my mummy and my aunty I'm sure.

God I'm scared.
This is the biggest, scariest, most permanent commitment I'll ever make.

But funnily enough, all I want to do is pick baby names.

Suggestions?